It had been over a month since her most frequent patient last crossed the infirmary's threshold in need of her medical expertise.  Janet Frasier had valiantly tried everything imaginable to help him, but to no avail: Daniel Jackson was now a devastatingly cute four year-old child, and nothing but time would change that.

Well, time would change his age, but not the devastatingly cute part, she corrected inwardly.

Her failure to "cure" the SGC's favorite archaeologist was not on her mind when Colonel O'Neill begged her for assistance in turning the cluttered hodgepodge that was the guest room of his house into a bedroom suitable for a highly-intelligent child.  The indomitable Doctor Fraiser could not be guilt-tripped into taking said highly-intelligent child—and said colonel's credit card—on a furniture-finding expedition while SG-1 was off-world on an easy three-day mission intended to help their new fourth—newly-minted Doctor Nyan Bedrosia—get accustomed to 'Gate travel and the team.  She did, however, gracefully volunteer her time and interior decorating sense, and it would be no inconvenience for her anyway since Danny would be staying at her house while SG-1 was gone.

After some discussion, it was determined that must-have furniture for Danny included an extra-long twin or full-size bed—he could sleep in it even after hitting his anticipated teenage growth spurt—a desk, and plenty of bookshelves.  Naturally, he'd need a dresser and armoire, too, but since Daniel had never been much of a clothes horse, Jack didn't think they'd need many drawers.  Janet dissented on Jack's assessment of Danny's clothing requirements, however, as she knew very well that with as many honorary aunts, uncles, and grandparents as he had, upcoming birthdays and Christmases would ensure the little archaeologist would have more clothes than he could possibly wear.  Furthermore, a toy chest and storage bins of some sort would also be required in the very near future.

The next question, naturally, was what style of furniture to get.  Jack suggested something sturdy and oak, but otherwise had no preferences for style.  Sam and Janet both loved the clean lines of Mission furniture, and since Furniture Row was having a sale that week...

But then Danny pouted, yelled "no", and exclaimed "'Ikea!" several times.  Very loudly.  It took a Google search by Cassie before Janet found out that "Ikea" wasn't a word in one of Daniel's many languages, but a Swedish company which sold furniture.  The nearest store, naturally, was some five hundred miles away in Utah.  Granted, they could order online, but Janet was sure that particle board furniture would never stand up to an overly-energetic four year-old.  So she put her foot down and told Danny that they would be going to Furniture Row to get his new bedroom set.

The lower lip came out, as expected, but Janet refused to be swayed.  She felt so proud of herself for her victory, but when she, Cassie, and the still-sulking Danny arrived at Furniture Row, the prices on the "sturdy and oak" furniture made her head ache, and she wasn't even the one paying!  Making a discrete exit—which had the unfortunate side effect of reviving Daniel's cries for Ikea—Janet drove to another furniture store she remembered in passing, and once again led her charges into the fray, head held high.

Minutes later, she beat another retreat, hair frazzling at the mere thought of paying that much for a headboard, let alone an entire set!  Down, but not out, she ignored Danny's "Ikea" chant, borrowed a gas station's phonebook to search through the Yellow Pages, and was soon pulling into the parking lot of a locally-owned furniture store.  The third time proved to be the charm, and even though the lovely Mission set she settled on was pine instead of oak and queen-sized instead of full, it was reasonably priced at just over a grand for five very solid pieces.  A decent mattress set was selected at around four-hundred dollars, delivery was arranged for that weekend, and Janet came away feeling accomplished.

"Bedding now, right Mom?" Cassie asked.

"Right!" she confirmed.  "So, Danny... Bed Bath & Beyond?  Linens 'N' Things?  Kohl's?"  She paused, adding hopefully, "Wal-Mart?"

"Ikea!" Daniel exclaimed.