Fiction > Gen Fic > Short Stories > The Thief and the Archaeologist

The Thief                              The Archaeologist                              Binding Arguments

The Theft of the Thief    16K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Some sexual innuendo
Episodes: Takes place shortly after "Prometheus Unbound".
Synopsis: Ever wonder what happened to Vala immediately after she left with the al'kesh?
Status: Completed as of July 29, 2005

The Thwarting of the Thief    23K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Some sexual innuendo.  Well, duh, it's about Vala!
Episodes: Takes place shortly before "Reckoning, Part I".  Contains major spoilers for "Summit", "Last Stand", "Prometheus Unbound", "Avalon", and "The Ties That Bind."  Minor spoilers for numerous others through the end of season eight.
Synopsis: Vala's quest to catch "her" Daniel continues.
Status: Completed as of August 7, 2005

The Thaumaturgy of the Thief    15K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Mild swearing, mild innuendo.
Episodes: Takes place during "Reckoning, Part II".  Contains major spoilers for "Avalon" and "The Ties That Bind".  Minor ones for "The Devil You Know", "Last Stand", "New Order", and numerous others of various seasons.
Synopsis: Vala's quest to catch "her" Daniel continues.
Status: Completed as of August 13, 2005

The Thelemity of the Thief    17K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Mild swearing, gratuitous Tok'ra-bashing.
Episodes: Takes place during "Threads".  Contains major spoilers for "Reckoning" and "Threads".  Minor ones for "Death Knell", "The Ties That Bind" and various others.
Synopsis: Vala's quest to catch "her" Daniel continues.
Status: Completed as of August 15, 2005

The Thoroughness of the Thief    15K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Mild swearing, gratuitous Tok'ra-bashing.
Episodes: Takes place shortly before "Avalon, Part I".  Contains major spoilers for "Avalon, Part I".  Minor ones for "Window of Opportunity" and "Threads".
Synopsis: Vala's quest to catch "her" Daniel continues.
Status: Completed as of August 21, 2005

The Threat of the Thief    18K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Mild swearing, sexual innuendo.
Episodes: Takes place during "Avalon, Part I".  Contains major spoilers for "Avalon, Part I".  Minor one for "Gemini".
Synopsis: Vala's quest to catch "her" Daniel nears its conclusion... or does it?
Status: Completed as of September 8, 2005

The Aggravation of the Archaeologist    26K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Gratuitous Tok'ra-bashing, mild sexual innuendo.  References to Looney Tunes, M*A*S*H, Farscape, A Prairie Home Companion, Star Wars, and The Honeymooners, in that order!
Episodes: Takes place during "Avalon, Part I".  Contains major spoilers for "Avalon, Part I".  Minor ones for "Fall Out", "Gemini", and "Prometheus Unbound", plus general "enlightenment" of season six.
Synopsis: Picks up where the series "The Thief" leaves off.  Vala's found the perfect place, the perfect bait, and the perfect hook for fishing, but why can't she catch one reluctant archaeologist?
Status: Completed as of August 31, 2005

The Adversity of the Archaeologist    12K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: None, for once, as Vala's unconscious and isn't causing too much trouble.
Episodes: Missing scene for "Avalon, Part I". Minor spoilers for "Avalon, Part I", "Avenger 2.0" and "Prometheus Unbound", as well as "Nemesis", "Need", "Hathor", "Meridian" and various other Danny-whumping episodes.
Synopsis: Picks up where the series "The Thief" leaves off.  Vala's found the perfect place, the perfect bait, and the perfect hook for fishing, but why can't she catch one reluctant archaeologist?
Status: Completed as of September 21, 2005

The Assets of the Archaeologist    14K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Mild sexual innuendo
Episodes: Missing scene for "Avalon, Part I". Minor spoilers for "Avalon, Part I" and "Ex Dea Machina".
Synopsis: Picks up where the series "The Thief" leaves off.  Vala's found the perfect place, the perfect bait, and the perfect hook for fishing, but why can't she catch one reluctant archaeologist?
Status: Completed as of October 8, 2005

The Abstrusity of the Archaeologist    25K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Two swear words, both of 'em Landry's fault.
Episodes: Missing scene for "Avalon, Part One".  Minor references to "Prometheus Unbound".
Synopsis: Picks up where the series "The Thief" leaves off.  Vala's found the perfect place, the perfect bait, and the perfect hook for fishing, but why can't she catch one reluctant archaeologist?
Status: Completed as of November 3, 2005

The Arguments of the Archaeologist    28K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Felger blows something up, Daniel and Vala squabble like children... normal stuff.
Episodes: Missing scene for "Avalon, Part Two" with references to "Paradise Lost", "Evolution", "Avatar", "Citizen Joe", and "Avalon"Missing scene for "Avalon, Part Two" with references to "Paradise Lost", "Evolution", “Avatar”, "Citizen Joe", and “Avalon”.r> Synopsis: Picks up where the series "The Thief" leaves off.  Vala's found the perfect place, the perfect bait, and the perfect hook for fishing, but why can't she catch one reluctant archaeologist?
Status: Completed as of December 12, 2005

The Apprenticeship of the Archaeologist    27K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Wars, and–of course–Vala.  Mild language and innuendo.
Episodes: Missing scene/epilogue for "Origin". Minor spoilers in varying degrees for "Origin", "Avalon", "Threads", "Lockdown", "The Devil You Know", "Jolinar's Memories", "Forever in a Day", Stargate, and maybe a few others.
Synopsis: Picks up where the series "The Thief" leaves off.  Vala's found the perfect place, the perfect bait, and the perfect hook for fishing, but why can't she catch one reluctant archaeologist?
Status: Completed as of January 16, 2006

Mitchell's Mission    15K
Rating: Kids
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Abuse of metaphors.  Not really anything else, as Mitchell watches his mouth.
Episodes: Missing scene/epilogue for "The Ties That Bind".  Minor spoilers for "Heroes", "Into the Fire", and "Hathor".
Synopsis: Continues on in the fashion of the preceding "The Thief" and "The Archaeologist" series (plural).  The bracelets are off, but Vala and 'her' Daniel are still connected.  Poor Daniel!
Status: Completed as of March 5, 2006

Carolyn's Command    14K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: One tiny little cuss word, tiny bit of innuendo.
Episodes: Missing scene "The Ties That Bind".  Teeny tiny little references to "Need", "Legacy", and "Lifeboat".
Synopsis: Continues on in the fashion of the preceding "The Thief" and "The Archaeologist" series (plural).  The bracelets are off, but Vala and 'her' Daniel are still connected.  Poor Daniel!
Status: Completed as of June 17, 2006

Arlos' Arrangement    19K
Rating: Teens
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: A few little cuss words and one impending shipper "Squee!" at the end.
Episodes: Missing scene for "The Ties That Bind".  Vague reference to the movie Stargate and a passing mention of the "kid brother" Mitchell referenced very briefly in "Camelot".
Synopsis: Continues on in the fashion of the preceding "The Thief" and "The Archaeologist" series (plural).  The bracelets are off, but Vala and 'her' Daniel are still connected.  Poor Daniel!
Status: Completed as of July 8, 2006

Daniel's Dichotomy    24K
Rating: All Ages
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: None, surprisingly.
Episodes: Missing scene for "The Ties That Bind".  Minor references to "Deadman Switch", "Summit", "Last Stand", "Sentinel", "Reckoning", and "Avalon".  Tiny bit of foreshadowing for "Memento Mori" (you'll understand once you get there).  Finally, this is the first of this series to feature a character from the previous series "The Thief", though you don't have to have read that to understand who she is.  (And if you have gotten this far in this series and haven't gone back to read those others, yet... you should!)
Synopsis: Continues on in the fashion of the preceding "The Thief" and "The Archaeologist" series (plural).  The bracelets are off, but Vala and 'her' Daniel are still connected.  Poor Daniel!
Status: Completed as of October 30, 2006

Vala's Valence    19K
Rating: All Ages
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Not really.
Episodes: Missing scene for "The Ties That Bind".  Minor references to "The Powers That Be" and various "Dead Again Daniel" moments throughout the years, plus several characters from previous stories from within this series.
Synopsis: Continues on in the fashion of the preceding "The Thief" and "The Archaeologist" series (plural).  The bracelets are off, but Vala and 'her' Daniel are still connected.  Poor Daniel!
Status: Completed as of January 12, 2007

Landry's Luncheon    18K
Rating: All Ages
Genre: General, Humor, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Warnings: Vala comes with her own warning label, doesn't she?
Episodes: Missing scene for "The Ties That Bind".  Mostly spoiler-free.
Synopsis: Continues on in the fashion of the preceding "The Thief" and "The Archaeologist" series (plural).  The bracelets are off, but Vala and 'her' Daniel are still connected.  Poor Daniel!
Status: Completed as of June 7, 2007