Cleo the Muse [dot] net

To 'Ship D/V by Cleo the Muse
Rating: All Ages
Genre: Het (Daniel/Vala), Humor, Poetry
Warnings: Terrible rhymes and enough sap to fill the Great Lakes with maple syrup...
Episodes: None, though you may recognize some of the "scenes".
Synopsis: First and foremost, this is NOT a capitulation. I still prefer the D/V UST to the 'ship. That said, I got this wacky idea of what it was like for Docgwen being pestered unto the brink of insanity or 'ship by the ladies of the D/V Forum...
Notes: 'Ship's lines are in italics, Docgwen's are plain-text. This will probably get a picture slideshow to accompany it one day... (Bless you, adis! Even if I don't have the time for it right now...) SO, with great apologies to Dr. Seuss (the second time I've butchered his writing style), here we go...
Status: Completed as of October 10, 2006
Disclaimer: See The Fine Print. I don't own Stargate... it owns me *eg*.

To 'Ship D/V

I am 'Ship
I am 'Ship
'Ship I be

That 'Ship-I-Be!
That 'Ship-I-Be!
I do not like that 'Ship-I-Be!

Do you like
to 'ship D/V?

I do not like to,
'Ship-I-Be,
I do not like
to 'ship D/V.

Would you 'ship them here or there?

I would not 'ship them
here or there
I would not 'ship them
anywhere.
I do not like
to 'ship D/V
I do not 'ship them,
'Ship-I-Be.

Would you 'ship them
out in space?
Would you 'ship them
face-to-face?

I would not 'ship them
out in space
I would not 'ship them
face-to-face
I would not 'ship them
here or there
I would not 'ship them
anywhere.
I do not like
to 'ship D/V
I do not 'ship them,
'Ship-I-Be.

Would you 'ship them
through the 'Gate?
Would you 'ship them
with love/hate?

Not through the 'Gate.
Not with love/hate.
Not out in space.
Not face-to-face.
I would not 'ship them
here or there
I would not 'ship them
anywhere.
I do not like
to 'ship D/V
I do not 'ship them,
'Ship-I-Be.

Would you? Could you?
In a bar?
'Ship them! 'Ship them!
Here they are.

I would not,
could not,
in a bar.

You may like them.
You will see.
Put them at the SGC!

I would not, could not at the SGC
Not in a bar! You let me be.

I do not 'ship them through the 'Gate.
I do not 'ship them with love/hate.
I do not 'ship them out in space.
I do not 'ship them face-to-face.
I do not 'ship them here or there.
I do not 'ship them anywhere.
I do not like to 'ship D/V.
I do not 'ship them, 'Ship-I-Be.

A town! A town!
A town! A town!
Could you, would you,
in a town?

Not in a town! Not at the SGC!
Not at a bar! 'Ship! Let me be!

I would not, could not, through the 'Gate.
I could not, would not, with love/hate.
I will not 'ship them out in space.
I will not 'ship them face-to-face.
I will not 'ship them here or there.
I will not 'ship them anywhere.
I do not like to 'ship D/V.
I do not 'ship them, 'Ship-I-Be!

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not,
in the dark.

Would you, could you,
upside-down?

I would not, could not, upside-down.
Not in the dark. Not in a town.
Not in a bar. Not the SGC.
I do not 'ship them, 'Ship, you see.
Not through the 'Gate. Not with love/hate.
Not out in space. Not face-to-face.
I will not 'ship them here or there.
I will not 'ship them anywhere!

You do not like to 'ship D/V?

I do not
'ship them,
'Ship-I-Be.

Could you, would you,
with a pyre?

I would not,
could not,
with a pyre!

Would you, could you,
with gunfire?

I could not, would not, with gunfire.
I will not, will not, with a pyre.
I will not 'ship them upside-down.
I will not 'ship them in a town.
Not in the dark! Not the SGC!
Not in a bar! You let me be!
I do not 'ship them through the 'Gate.
I do not 'ship them with love/hate.
I will not 'ship them out in space.
I do not 'ship them face-to-face.
I do not 'ship them here or there.
I do not 'ship them ANYWHERE!

I do not like to 'ship D/V!

I do not 'ship them, 'Ship-I-Be!

You do not 'ship them.
So you say.
'Ship them! 'Ship them!
And you may.
'Ship them and you may, I say.

'Ship!
If you will let me be,
I will 'ship them.
You will see.

Say!
I think I like to 'ship D/V!
I do! I like to, 'Ship-I-Be!
And I would 'ship them gunfire.
And I would 'ship them with a pyre...
And I will 'ship them upside-down.
And in the dark. And in a town.
And in a bar. And the SGC.
They are so cute, so cute, you see!

So I will 'ship them through the 'Gate.
And I will 'ship them with love/hate.
And I will 'ship them out in space.
And I will 'ship them face-to-face.
And I will 'ship them here and there.
Say! I will 'ship them ANYWHERE!

I do so like
to 'ship D/V!
Thank you!
Thank you,
'Ship-I-Be!

Feedback, bribes, and Daniel Jackson clones gleefully accepted (I'm not greedy...)

cleothemuse [at] yahoo [dot] com